I thought that trying to be a good person meant that good things were supposed to happen to you. So why is it that I did the absolute nicest thing I've ever done in my entire life, and provided Christmas for over 60 people this past year and my karma is biting me in the ass?
In just a matter of 10 days, I've found out that I may have to have surgery again, my work schedule has changed so that I now have to be up an hour earlier than usual, I got roofied at the club, and today I shattered the screen on my Galaxy Nexus.
10 days. That's all this year has had so far. And in ten days, all of that has happened.
I used to be a horrible person. I was cruel to people, I pushed people away and hurt people before they could hurt me.
Now, I'm trying so hard. For the past few years, I have done everything that I could to become a better person. I've changed. I treat people better, I do HUGE things to help change people's lives.
So why does karma hate me so much? Why is it that in just 10 days time, so many things can go absolutely fucking wrong?
It was easier treating people like shit. At least then, if something bad happened to me, I knew that I deserved it. THIS, well, this is so much harder to deal with now.
Being a good person is a lot of effort if this is the reward for it. Having life treat you like shit, having everything that can go wrong, going wrong. Feeling down, depressed, angry, and.. well.... bruised. That's the word. I feel fucking bruised.
Karma is definitely a bitch, but what the fuck did I do to deserve all of this?
In just a matter of 10 days, I've found out that I may have to have surgery again, my work schedule has changed so that I now have to be up an hour earlier than usual, I got roofied at the club, and today I shattered the screen on my Galaxy Nexus.
10 days. That's all this year has had so far. And in ten days, all of that has happened.
I used to be a horrible person. I was cruel to people, I pushed people away and hurt people before they could hurt me.
Now, I'm trying so hard. For the past few years, I have done everything that I could to become a better person. I've changed. I treat people better, I do HUGE things to help change people's lives.
So why does karma hate me so much? Why is it that in just 10 days time, so many things can go absolutely fucking wrong?
It was easier treating people like shit. At least then, if something bad happened to me, I knew that I deserved it. THIS, well, this is so much harder to deal with now.
Being a good person is a lot of effort if this is the reward for it. Having life treat you like shit, having everything that can go wrong, going wrong. Feeling down, depressed, angry, and.. well.... bruised. That's the word. I feel fucking bruised.
Karma is definitely a bitch, but what the fuck did I do to deserve all of this?
You can't choose what life deals you, you can only choose how to play the hand that you have been dealt. Becoming a bitter, angry, shell is not who you are and not who you want to be. Everything that's happened SUCKS. But, you survived the club. You are strong enough to survive the issues following it. You can still hold out hope that you won't have the second surgery. The phone, that hurts. But in the end...it's ok. Just take a deep breath, know that someone cares, and that you are better than letting this ruin the person you are. I love you! I am here foryou!
ReplyDeleteYou did an awesome thing a Christmas time, something I've seen very few people do. Don't let a couple of bad days or bad things ruin it for you. The things you did for the airmen so few people would do...don't let anything take that away from you!
ReplyDeleteThings will get better, you have to think that...I have had some good and bad things happen to me over the last couple weeks. Got to think in the end, it is at least all even.
Hope things get better for you!
Shit, that just sucks, bigtime. I have no words of fucking wisdom, Ya do shit, shit happens, no rules for any of it. In the end you just live for yourself, if you feel better treating people like shit, go for it, if not, well, treat them like humans. (ahh - there's the platitude). I have a lot things that I could say, but, none of that means shit - it's your life, live it as you think you should.
ReplyDeleteStill - what a shitty way to start the year - sucks to be you - LOL.